Working from home has many, many advantages, but it comes with some obvious independence. And as adults, many of us look forward to making friends and socializing at the office. As you adjust to another new normal, I’ve got some tips to help you make connections outside of your traditional 9-5. Check out my favorite places to make friends working remotely below.
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Make friends with your neighbors
When I first bought my house, I was so excited to meet my neighbors. Visions of mailbox gossip and block parties filled my mind. When I moved in, I did the neighborly thing. I made rum cakes and made sure to introduce myself to the five houses around me. So you can imagine how heartbreaking it was when none of us became instant friends.
The reality is, we’d all grown so busy that no one had time (or the inclination) to get to know their neighbor. It was a relationship we took for granted. Then Covid hit, and none of us could venture further than our driveway. And just like that, those neighbors I’d met five years earlier finally became my friends. We looked out for each other when making those first cautious trips to the grocery store. We had weekly happy hours on the front lawn (socially distanced, of course). And on Halloween 2020, my vision of a block party finally came to life.
It may have taken a pandemic to do it, but we’re all more open to connecting with others than we have been in a long time. So why not start with those closest to you. They may be transitioning to fully remote work themselves and eager for companionship. They could even become one of your closest friends. And how convenient would that be?
Ditch the machines and join a class
When I moved to the suburbs (single, with no kids to help form relationships with other parents), most of my routine required a transition too. I found a new grocery store, a new dry cleaner, and a new gym. To try something new and keep myself accountable, I signed up for their team training group and fitness classes.
Over the next several months, I began to see the same people over and over again. And aside from travel, there’s no better litmus test of a person’s personality than how they react when the instructor gives them tough love. I started to find things I had in common with my teammates, and conversations naturally developed before, after, and during classes.
It’s not a far stretch to grab a smoothie after a fitness class, or to schedule additional workouts. Smoothies eventually become cocktails, and conversations on the treadmill float slowly into a deeper realm. And soon, you’ve become friends with the girl you wanted to out-bench in class. It just takes having one thing in common to spark a friendship.
Give back to get more
Another major change when I moved was finding a new church. I was familiar with a few in the area and had been recommended to some. In the end, I decided to try the church closest to my house, just one and a half miles down the road. I figured, if nothing else, it would be easy to make it to service every week simply because of the proximity.
For the first several months, I showed up a little late and left a little early – determined to get in and out without having to make awkward conversation with strangers. But then I remembered that old adage about the more you give, the more you get. I began serving in the most hands-off position I could think of – you know, baby steps.
But then I joined a small group and began to get to know my fellow churchgoers on a more personal level. I’d been worried that they would be too judgmental of my less than sinless lifestyle, but instead, I found real, imperfect people. People, I could be myself around and call on whenever I needed something. And I’ve formed some of the deepest friendships of my adult life there.
Not every church will be a fit for you, but when you do find one you align with, I encourage to get more involved. The old adage is true, and I can’t get enough.
Make friends at the coffee shop
As you undoubtedly learned last year, one of the hardest things about transitioning to full-time remote work is the lack of structure and countless distractions at home. We didn’t have much choice in the matter in 2020, but today, things are open again, and the world is your oyster – er, your office.
You know that law of physics that says a rock in motion tends to stay in motion? That’s how I am when it comes to being productive. The longer I sit on the couch, watching reruns for the millionth time, the more likely I am to continue sitting there. But when I get up to go for a walk or run an errand, I don’t want to sit right back down.
If you struggle with the same, try posting up at a local coffee shop or your favorite lunch spot to work for a while. Not only does it help to shake things up and get you out of the house, but as you become a regular, you’ll start to identify other regulars too. While you’re waiting in line for your next mocha whatever, ask them what they’re working on. It’s just like meeting someone from a new department in the office for the first time. And in no time at all, you’ll be meeting at the water cooler for the daily tea.
Rediscover your hobbies
Last year gave us all a chance to find new hobbies or reengage with some old ones. And then, we got busy again. Before you let the daily grind get you down, pick those hobbies back up and strive for balance. If not for your sanity, then for the golden opportunity they are for connecting with new friends.
No matter what you’re into, I guarantee there is a Facebook group or Meet Up for it. I find Facebook the easiest personally because I’m already on it near daily. And it’s easier to get to know the people you’ll potentially be meeting in person.
Hiking groups, language conversation groups, entrepreneur groups, photography groups, networking groups – there’s literally no limit. Make a list of five things you used to love to do, want to learn how to do, or want to get better at, and then join a group. It’ll give you something to do every day of the week and exponential chances to meet new people.
Make friends for a cause
Volunteering is a great way to meet people and feel better about how you’re spending your free time. Don’t get me wrong, I love Netflix – probably way more than anyone should – but it doesn’t make me feel good about myself.
Volunteering not only makes you feel more productive, but it actually makes a difference in the world. People talk about that like if you’re going to make a meaningful difference, it has to be on a large scale. But just showing up and giving a little TLC to a shelter pup couldn’t mean more to him.
And when you meet someone in a setting like that, you already know a lot about them. You have a key insight into what they care about (if it’s gonna peel you off the couch, you know you care about it) and what kind of person they are (more than likely, selfless). Friendships have been built on a whole lot less.
Socialize with the other [pet] parents
Dogs are hands-down the best when it comes to breaking the ice. “Oh, I’m sorry, my dog just had to say hi.” The only people I can think of that would be put off by a sweet four-legged friend wagging their way over are psychopaths – and they should generally be avoided anyway.
My dog, Toby, has helped me make friends all over the world, sometimes just by lying in the front yard. But take your pup to a dog park, and you practically have to introduce yourself to the other pet parents. You know, to make sure your little one is making friends with the right crowd…
And if you don’t have a dog, go with one of your friends who does. Dog parks are having their glow-ups everywhere. These days, you’re likely to find at least one dog park that has access to WiFi, and some even offer refreshments and themed days. It’s a heck of a party, and the price of admission is just one furry friend.
Are you a work-from-home warrior?
Whether you are or not, making friends as an adult is a unique challenge. We can’t rely on the structure of school and extracurriculars to force us to socialize. It may feel intimidating at times, but getting out and finding new ways to engage with the world is worth it. For the people you’ll meet and the more fulfilling life that’s out there waiting for you.
Nervous about meeting new people? Don’t be! Just start by introducing yourself.
If you’ve had good luck meeting new people in other places, too, let me know in the comments!
